I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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