Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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