His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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