I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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