she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
