Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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