I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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