My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
