i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
