My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
