All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
