You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
