I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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