Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
