My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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