A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
