My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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