i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
