I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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