You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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