I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
