Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I did not marry a roomba.
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