the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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