i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So vagazzling was a success
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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