oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
