how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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