Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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