Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
