take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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