My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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