As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
we're so committed to being not committed
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
