Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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