I looked at my own cervix.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
