I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
