I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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