Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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