Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
