Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
