when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I would fuck him just for his dog
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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