I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
