i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Can I color on your dick again?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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