It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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