dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
