Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
