it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
