I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
