So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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