I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
