She's JV to your varsity
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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