His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
