Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize