but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
