Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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