Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
