Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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