First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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