first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
