The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
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