we're blogging at a bar
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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