Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
