i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
