Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
