Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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