why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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